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living on your breath/feeling with your skin... - In your favourite darkness
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Subject:living on your breath/feeling with your skin...
Time:11:53 pm
Glinda and I had a good chat this morning. Sort of funny, really, that we can get on. Wouldn't have thought Tara was the sort of bird who'd like me, but of all the Scoobies she'd always been the most tolerant of me. Well, her 'n Anya, but Anya was too hung up on what that git Xander thought to really become my friend. Shame, really, cos she had a bit more going for her than Red or the boy. But yeah, Tara and I talked a few things over. Didn't get too into everything, but we cleared the air a bit. I don't think she trusts me completely, and she shouldn't, but she... seems willin' to give me a chance, which I reckon is more than I deserve. We sort of agreed I can stay here for a bit. Not exactly a long term solution, cos what am I going to do, sleep on the sofa forever? I know there's a bedroom free, but the thought of sleeping in Buffy's old bed every night, surrounded by her stuff... Too much to bear, I reckon.

After breakfast I went back into the sitting room. Watched a bit of telly, drank the rest of the pig's blood Tara had given me. No need to tell her that I can hunt now. Don't think she'd treat me so warmly if she knew. I heard Dawn get up and go out. She didn't come in to see me, which I sort of expected. So I watched some daytime TV, and then fell asleep on the sofa for the afternoon.

I woke up in the early evening, just as the sun was setting. Tara was out, probably grocery shopping or something. Dawn wasn't in the house either. And I was hungry, and restless. It felt strange, having spent this time in a domestic setting. I wasn't used to it. Talking to people wasn't something I'd done much of over the last four months. Drinking and passing out in my car, yes, and murdering a lot of people - that I could do. But bein' civilised was difficult. So I needed to let off a bit of steam.

I found a girl, but for the first time in months she wasn't blonde. The girl I spotted was tall, slim, and brunette. Her hair hung in a long brown sheet down her back, the way Dawn used to wear hers before she got all hardcore, and she was wearing a neat little skirt and jacket. When I got closer to her I found she smelled of grape lipbalm and cherry shampoo. She looked up at me with wide eyes and made a silent "O" with her mouth before I grabbed her.

When I was done with her, I found she didn't look much like Dawn at all, and I felt vaguely sick. I dropped her body in an alley and went to a 7-11. I drank a six pack of beer sitting on a park bench, and then I took a bottle of whisky and a packet of smokes home with me.

I came into the house quietly, through the back door. I could hear Tara moving upstairs, but I didn't feel like company. Maybe she sensed that, because she didn't come downstairs. Or maybe it was the sort of time she usually went to bed. I didn't know, or frankly care that much. Instead I opened the bottle of Jack and got myself a tumbler and sat at the breakfast bar, smoking my way through a pack of fags. I kept the kitchen door open to let the smoke out, and I breathed in the night air. I'm not sure how long I sat there, drinking whisky, but I was feeling comfortably numb when I heard footsteps.

((Open to Tara and Dawn.))
comments: leave me lying here Previous Entry Share


sired1880spike
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Time:2007-03-23 10:37 pm (UTC)
I watch Tara busy herself around the kitchen. She doesn't meet my eyes, even when I get the plates out for her. Reckon she's not that comfortable around me. 'Salright; don't really expect her to be.

I step over to the window and glance out. The sky is beginning to lighten, and I tug the blinds closed. Tara glances up.

"Sorry," I say. "The sun." I shrug and sit down again at the island, wishing for another cigarette, even though I've smoked a whole packet tonight. Nothing here is simple. I'd... I'd hoped that coming back here might straighten things out for me. Straighten me out. But I keep thinking of the way I pressed Dawn against the island, and how I wanted to hurt her. Touch her or hurt her. Maybe both.

Dawn comes back in, and freshly showered she looks almost her age again. Tara offers her drinks.

"I'll have a brew if you're offering," I say sardonically.
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living on your breath/feeling with your skin... - In your favourite darkness
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